Like stepping into your jeans...
I definitely felt that if I didn’t think about cancer it wouldn’t happen to me. This is magical thinking. I had an irrational fear that if I contemplated cancer I would somehow open myself up to it.
It was a steep learning curve setting up camp in the half dark not knowing where anything was: you could hear my very ill-tempered mutterings from within the lug-boxes, 'I can’t find anything'... 'where are the matches?' as I frantically waded through eating utensils, pots and food.
I was eager to know about the procedure of the implants as it would help me make up my mind about the mastectomy of the 'healthy breast.'
Let go of restrictions of boundaries that crush and curtail Squeezing expectations smaller the reduction of your Actions And beliefs Let go of restriction Of fear and small mindedness Saying ‘I can’t’ and ‘I won’t’ Making you shrink back Into your shell. Let go of restriction Of legalistic piety and adherence That … Continue reading Restrictions of the mind.
It was raining in Cape Town. I had packed but Derek still needed to make his lists for camping gear and car gear. Derek had been sorting out the ‘gadgets'. The laptop had stolen hours from Derek’s packing time as it had crashed the day before. I had saved all my research of places we … Continue reading An African Trip, Day 1: 30th May 2013
Journal entry 21/08/2012 I met Dr Aaron Ndhluni today. He will be looking after me as my surgeon. He is nice, reassuring, warm, kind, and has a sense of humour. I am blessed that Derek has made provision for a hospital fund and insurance for the gap cover for the 5 dread diseases. We shook … Continue reading Cancer continued: meeting my surgeon
Life is Not about dancing the show But rather dancing your dance Elegantly or awkwardly With dignity. It is about singing the song in your heart Each song, a gift which plays its part. It is about living the drama Moment by moment With exhilaration; Of embracing the unknown; Of seeing the illustrations … Continue reading Life is not a performance
When we first began to talk about the trip we didn’t know where we wanted to travel. We just knew we had the desire to go so we sat down and made a list of what we each wanted individually. We then took from our lists all the common interests. Originally Derek had wanted to … Continue reading An African Adventure: Cars and equipment
I have always felt uncomfortable writing about my cancer but I feel like I owe it to others who might need to hear about my story. Anybody can google the facts about cancer but I want to try to portray my experience as vividly as possible. My friend had just gone for a mammogram check-up … Continue reading Discovering I had cancer.