Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

I think my most epic fail in the kitchen was when I was newly wed and I had little experience of cooking but I surely made up for it with a zeal in nutrition. I decided to make a liver and prune dish. I actually followed a recipe. It was so horrible I don’t think we could eat it; I shall say no more.

Moving onto a story that might be a little more entertaining seven years later, as I remember it today. (forgive me if the facts are quite exact)

I was 31 years old and pregnant, with toddler in tow. You know what toddlers are like?! They grab onto a “powerful” phrase depending on how big their vocabulary or grammatical construction is: for example saying “No!” or “I have a better idea” and our phrase was “I do it” or “me do it. “

Being pregnant for me was a tiring occupation and my daughter was very active. I am sure most of you are familiar with Winnie the Pooh’s Tigger. I thought of her as my little Tigger; so that’s what I will call her in this story.

One morning, while looking for something to do that I would enjoy without being too energetic I suggested to Tigger: “shall we do some baking today?” She jumped up and down in a Tiggerlike fashion shouting, “me do it, me do it. ” So with resignation, mentally writing off the batch of muffins, I put out a measured amount of ingredients and hoped for the best.

While the kitchen became a center of messy flour and mixtures I reassured myself that Tigger was developing gross motor and fine motor skills by mixing and beating. I also thought of the possibility that I could be fostering an interest in baking, or science or even developing an awareness of mathematics.

Although all the ingredients had been beaten to death the banana was showing up as yellow lumps in the cocoa flavoring and blue coloring. I didn’t think it was looking too appetizing but I didn’t want to be discouraging so we baked it. Tigger ordered “bake a cake, no muffins” and so that’s what we did. We scraped it in a round baking tin.

After the appropriate time I peaked into the oven. It had not risen. In actual fact it looked like we’d managed to come up with a plastic substitute. Pity we never took notes of what ratios or method “we’d” used as “we’d done it by ourselves. “

Description: It looked almost as flat as a pancake, with a bluey, brown plasticky finish and the banana bits still yellowish. Honestly it looked very unappetizing, mostly like vomit. It seemed so indestructible that my husband suggested we try using it like a Frisbee. There were roars of mirth.

Tigger did try biting into it but she also decided it was inedible. I am wondering if it ever decomposed or if it is still sitting in some landfill. So it was an epic fail in one sense, but we’d spent a happy hour or two. I am not convinced it helped her science or mathematics skills but she sure is a very creative lady today. She blogs as Ellie from Elliementalist or xyoopx. Today she dabbles in arts and crafts such as painting, crochet and knitting.

Take care