If you have followed me in the past you would have noticed that I haven’t blogged for over a year. There are two main reasons.
The first is quite simple and I think that many of you would relate to this. I got caught up by being a perfectionist. The blog is too short, it’s too long, I don’t have photos, I’m not sure if I have expressed myself precisely enough etc. etc. This type of thinking is sure to block the creative flow and eventually I become inert. And that is how I ended up writing absolutely nothing for the last year. Do you have perfectionistic tendencies? Where does it keep you back?
It is my challenge, this year, to take action even when I think I am imperfect. The funny thing is none of us are perfect, that is what it means to be human. I like to think of myself as uniquely perfectly imperfect. For those of you who can relate – just imagine how much more we could achieve if we stopped waiting to be perfect before we did things. I am an example of that.
The second reason is what I got hung up on. My last blog I wrote was about finally committing to becoming fit again. Well we could go ‘Haha’ and roll our eyes in our head but that is the negative critical gremlin that sits on my shoulder which thinks like that, which is rather unkind. And it is because of this gremlin that I stay inert.
About 2 months after that last blog my ankle swelled up so much that I could neither walk nor even put my shoe on. It was quite ironic after what I wrote. I have a history of not looking after myself but this time I was determined to go to a professional to get help. I went to a physio who referred me to a sports science doctor. I found him to be most unhelpful in the end, apart from prescribing anti-inflammatories but without naming names or going to details, after two months and me hobbling around with an ankle brace on I was still not better.
I battled with this ankle of mine, and even travelled overseas for a two month holiday in the UK and Spain last year, icing it and wearing hiking boots for stability etc. until this year in January my GP sent me for an x-ray which revealed an old fracture in my ankle bone which is now effecting my ankle. My ligament does not function like it should anymore so I have to come to terms with the fact that I need to take specific care of that ankle forever. I have been told that I need to always carry anti-inflammatory cream with me where ever I go, wear an ankle brace when hiking for stability, and keep firm strapping tape on me which I can use in emergencies. And because my stomach lining has been ruined by oral anti-inflammatories in the past icing is also a good option.
I don’t want to get too technical here as I am not trying to give you professional advice but rather encourage you:
- If you have a problem – sort it out! Sounds obvious and simple but there is a certain type of person that will deny themselves help for a number of reasons. Sometimes we put ourselves last, negating our own needs, or we don’t think we matter enough; we only give others in our lives the time of day. It all boils down to the same thing: we don’t value ourselves enough or think we are worth the care. That is sad.
- If you have tried to get help but it is not helping, don’t give up, try again, and try something different, until you get an answer. Be persistent. You are worth it.
I remember my daughter, Dee, once asking me if a certain doctor got his degree in a lucky packet and I have similar feelings at times but I have to focus on the fact that I now have an answer to why my ankle gives me so much trouble. I have answers. That is what I must focus on. Getting better and getting fitter.
your perfectly imperfect friend,