…little servings of thoughts coming to you…

Dear friend,

Figure means “Number,” like “what do you weigh?” Figure can mean “what shape is your body or figure?” And thirdly, figure can also mean “what do you figure it to mean?” In other words: analyzing and working it out in your head.

There’s figures and then there is figures

Firstly I am going to show you my figures for my weight loss graph that I keep. I feel that it is important to track weight loss so that one has a graphic image of what is going on. In some ways what I am going to say is contradictory: figures don’t count (or) don’t count your figures. It is important to get an overall image of what is going on over time, rather than the individual figures. Remember figures are affected daily: our bodies collect water some days i.e. if more salt is eaten than normal or waste is not illuminate on a regular basis. Some days you might eat a bit more than other days. It is all okay. What matters is the trend. So here is my graph trend for most of last year.

Then there is my graph that shows you my Christmas intake. It truly went up. So I look for trends rather than individual figures. If the trend is going down mostly that is a good sign; if the trend is leveling out  I am still pleased but if the trend starts to go in the opposite direction I need to ask what I am doing that is causing this trend. When we have had festivities and celebrations it is not surprising that the trend changes but it is a warning to get back to taking things seriously and to change the trend again. The images are taken from an app I use for monitoring my weight and caloric intake called fatsecret app.

The second figure is my body shape. We are all different and it is better to embrace our shape and make the best of what we got instead of being ungrateful for a body which takes us places and does so much for us.

Figure out your how you view yourself (personal view)

The third type of figure is figuring things out and is the most important of all. What I want to suggest to you is to consider how you view yourself: not as a figure as in weight or a figure as in shape but how do you view who you are inside the body you have. How do you figure yourself: or how do you think of yourself?

• Do you see the “work” of looking after yourself or do you negate your efforts?
• Do you see that your body needs help but instead of caring you say: “I don’t care.”
• Do you acknowledge the special person you are?
• Do you value that person?
• Do you congratulate the effort you make in any area of your life?
• When you are trying to lose weight do you value the efforts you make, value each and every thing you do towards caring for yourself.

Don’t ignore who you are. Don’t disrespect yourself because you will only make your inner person feel less worthy and incapable of doing what you set out to achieve. You need to be a believer: A believer in yourself. If there is any inkling of hope you need to believe you can. You need to be a champion of your inner being who is making the effort to survive and thrive.   

I can confidently tell you this because I know it to be true. I have experienced this exact thing. I felt I had let myself down so many times that I didn’t believe that I could do it. It becomes abusive to look at yourself and almost disown all past attempts: “saying you worthless piece of ****” – because you are not worthless. When you say to yourself: what a lousy effort you made; you don’t try hard enough; you failure; you are so worthless I can’t even see you; I can’t see the effort you have made; what effort?; there is nothing; no results; weak; pathetic…etc.

That is your nasty self talking to you, your abuser. Why abuse yourself? Why not forgive yourself? Why not show patience, loving kindness, belief, and praise for any small amount of effort. Your abuser becomes your saboteur. Do you want that? I believe you are a survivor and you want to thrive. You want the best for yourself deep down.

How do you do that? you may ask.

Try to see yourself with new eyes of tenderness, eyes of someone who has compassion, kindness and patience. You must look for the things that are growing, the little things you are already succeeding at, appreciate the things you desire for yourself and begin to plan to make them come true. One of the things is to stop being hard on yourself and plan baby steps so that you can succeed. And congratulate yourself on every step of the way where there is any small amount of success. This is not unhealthy pride; it is most healthy to respect your attempts.

It is a mind-shift; it takes time, deep self-reflection and awareness. It takes time to dream that you can, and to believe that you can do it. It can take months to see your worth and ability to step up to the challenge. So if you feel like you are not making it; you can’t cut it; or you are a failure perhaps it is time to change your view of yourself and begin with compassion.

Here are some ways of showing up for yourself:

• be more mindful,
• meditate on who you are in the eyes of the Sacred one
• imagine your struggling self asking your other self for help
• use your imagination to see yourself succeeding
• Ask for guidance, something is sure to come up for you
• ask a mentor or a special friend to help you
• ask your dream-maker to give you a dream that reveals a bit about your self in a new way
• Be open to the way in which your unique journey is taking you.  

My counsellor has a phrase he uses: “damage, repair, damage and repair.” What you need for repairing the damage is forgiveness, acceptance, love and renewed belief. May your Hope be renewed.

with much love, Morag.