At last my little art studio is ready for use, after almost three years. August 2021 was the last time I worked on a body of art. The day I finished the work, Butterfly dance, Derek was free to immigrate. How symbolic! We had been waiting for everything to align. And soon we were working on our house in Cape Town, readying it for rental, and then came our office which we change into a bachelor flat, then in August 2022 Derek left for Scotland and I followed in October 2022.

We had become wanderers, literally journeying from one form of accommodation to the next. As you know we have been renovating our house in Scotland since June 2023 and we have now been living in it since March.  It’s a strange feeling to watch one’s “Self” morph into a different “me” as I adapted to the different circumstances. There never seemed to be room for my Artist: external space, internal space and time closed in on my Artist. It was a time of emotional and physical survival. I did dabble in knitting and crocheting as I do love colour; that was one solace.

Lately I have spent the last month or two opening myself to the possibility of creativity; waiting in silence; setting my intentions; reflecting; being curious; and finally I began to hear my heart whisper: don’t compromise yourself by criticizing and comparing yourself; don’t seek validation; be happy with your creativity; be curious and playful; trust yourself… Still I wondered if I really would dare to embrace my Artist once again.

The child in me can’t wait to play but the Adult in me has been working seriously hard, saying “no time to play”. It rather reminds me of the Alison in Wonderland meeting the rabbit. He says

I’m late, I’m late for
A very important date.
No time to say hello, good-bye,
I’m late, I’m late, I’m late
I’m late and when I wave,
I lose the time I save.
My fuzzy ears and whiskers
Took me too much time to shave.
I run and then I hop, hop, hop,
I wish that I could fly.
There’s danger if I dare to
Stop and here’s a reason why:
I’m over-due, I’m in a rabbit stew.
Can’t even say good-bye,
hello, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.

This feels a lot like me: always telling myself there’s no time to play.

It’s ironic as I use to run art workshops that encouraged playfulness, curiosity and exploration. The personal well of creativity had run dry. So now the invitation to myself is: Can you be open? Openness to dare to be… free… controversial… edgy… on the edge of the precipice, edge of black and white, edge of the rules, of self-censorship, edge of taboos. I’m not talking about the shock element that people need; I am not looking for that. I want to push the realms of possibility, the realms never before visited by me, and the places never touched. The kiss of life is embracing that which we reject in our art, our creativity. Inject life and curiosity.  

One thing I have done during the past three years is collect photos of scenes which I think would tell an interesting story or be an illustration for a book. Illustration is something I am interested in. So last week I decided, instead of hanging onto all the photos, I will go through them and delete them but before I delete them, I will sketch the images as reference material. I draw three or four images a day, sometimes less.

It reminds me of how, in the era before cameras, artists in the past would paint to capture the portrait of someone special or important. And landscape artists would try to capture scenes. Now we have no need to capture perfect pictures of portraits and landscapes. These days people paint or make art for many different reasons. My art was originally influenced by the impressionists, post-impressionists and expressionists during my school years. Then later when I studied art, a while, my art was influenced by conceptual art and installations. As life went on I ran art workshops which encouraged self-reflection through expressive art and playful art.

My art style has mostly been about the process and personal expression of my journey through life and not about producing a product.

My second issue in the last three years is that I am increasingly aware of the health of the earth. I feel the way I make art and my creative process needs to honour earth as much as possible. In the past I have spoken about upcycling clothing and useful objects. I have experimented with egg tempura and plant dyes. Although I have been very busy with renovations (where we also upcycled materials) and haven’t had the same time and space to continue my experiments I have been mindful of the future process. I am looking into some natural materials and I might use Natural Earth Paint (non-toxic and eco-friendly)

My First Project

I’m planing an art project using recycled cardboard from all the packaging that has come along with goods we have needed. I intend to prepare or prime the cardboard with left over paint from our interiors instead of gesso. I will use up the materials which I have on hand (they are not necessarily eco-friendly nor eco-unfriendly) but once used up I will get my supply from eco-friendly art suppliers.

My primary aim is not to show my art as it is a personal process but I will show it if it is relevant. Sharing my process does leave me feeling a bit vulnerable so I will have to find a happy medium.  

What are your thoughts about using eco-friendly art materials?

Have you ever felt like you have lost touch with you Artist within?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Take good care of yourselves