Growth: Butterfly cycles

/ moragnoffke

What Experiences in Life Helped Me Grow the Most?

If you asked me what experiences in life helped me grow the most, my honest answer would be: just living. Every day offers me a chance to grow. Life consistently presents unexpected challenges, each one shaping me in some way. As Rose Tremain said, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” There is no script, no practice round—this is it. The Butterfly only gets one life as well. See the beautiful transformation she goes through.

By learning to be curious, observant and reflective I try to use my experiences for enrichment and development. In retrospect I can see that from the outset of my life these lessons were previously unimaginable to me: I could not have planned them. I can now say that my evolvement was transformative, like a butterfly transforming from egg to lava to chrysalis and eventually to butterfly, all with its joys and pains. Although I think I am more like a field of butterflies, each part of me emerging in its own time. The way I see it is that we have parts of us that may stay immature while other parts develop and mature into the butterflies.

Photo by Cindy Gustafson on Pexels.com
Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com
Photo by Luke Morgan on Pexels.com
Photo by Brad Wilkins on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

As I reflect on my milestones of marriage, studying, parenthood, illness and career I see that life has a surprising way of showing up with new challenges and growth. Life reached into me and dug around in my depths as a catalyst for resilience, responsibility and commitment. I also learnt more about compassion, empathy, flexibility and resourcefulness. It was not easy at times but that’s how we grow.

One of the most intense periods of growth came when I was diagnosed with beast cancer. Facing my mortality stripped away every illusion of control and I had to confront the deepest questions: Am I ready to leave this life? Have I loved well? Have I lived fully? I prayed and spoke honestly to God: I am grateful for the life I’ve had, for my husband and daughters, and for all the beauty I have known. If this is my time, I accept it. But if I am given more time, I will cherish it. I believe in the cycle of life of being born, raised, raising others and dying; and I accept that. That was 13 years ago.

That experience taught me the fragility of life and the importance of not taking life for granted. It was the penultimate challenge of letting go: letting go of life, of loved ones, and a letting go and trusting the doctors and professionals. I learned humility—how to receive help, to lean into the care of others, to surrender control and so I learned to truly receive love. That experience of staring mortality in the face sparked a deep desire in Derek and me to stop postponing our dreams. Derek said “lets go do something before its too late” It was because of this experience that Derek and I decided it was time to travel. We were turning 50 and we decided not to let life pass us by.

Shortly after, we turned 50, we took a 40 day trip through southern Africa up to Malawi in a Kia Sedona; and as we camped we slept in our roof-top tent. We travelled through Namibia, Caprivi Strip, Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe and Botswana. The memories are still vivid and amazing. It was an exhilarating experience with up and downs. The ups were high and the lows were really low. Some nights, I wanted nothing more than to teleport back home. I vividly remember saying to Derek, “If you could post me home in an envelope, I’d ask you to do it right now.”  But I am really glad we went and I would do it over again.

It forced me to face my own *anxieties head-on: to problem-solve, adapt, and trust both myself and others in unfamiliar situations. Despite my anxieties I think I coped well. I also learnt to become more flexible and resourceful. That trip taught me that we are never truly alone; there are always people willing to help, if we are brave enough to ask.

Through all these experiences: marriage, motherhood, work, travel, and illness, I have learned to love more fully, to communicate with honesty and listen actively, and to trust my own inner strength. Most of all, I am learning that growth is not about perfection; it is about showing up, over and over again, even when it’s hard. It’s a bit like the caterpillar eating and growing or like the chrysalis waiting and growing.

As I continue on this butterfly journey, I believe that growth is not a destination but a birthing into something new and beautiful, over and over again. Yes, growth is a daily practice; a way of being, showing up with curiosity, openness, and courage. And through it all, I am grateful to be on this journey of growth. As you can see it is not one thing that has caused me to grow but the daily habits of reflection and life’s experiences that provide opportunities of growth.

*Dictionary meaning of anxiety: anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome or as Medline Plus puts it: Anxiety is a feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness. I suffer from PTSD and I might always struggle with anxiety but I do believe that I grow, even if this anxiety is like a caterpillar inching my way along. One day this Anxiety-Caterpillar will become a Butterfly too.

Do you have a metaphor for your growth?

Have a good week and take care.


34 thoughts on “Growth: Butterfly cycles”

  5. Dear Morag, what a wonderful, positive and uplifting post. Okay, I’m a bloke, but I do understand what you have been through as I continue to support my wife who has experienced 3 different forms of cancer and is now dealing with heart failure. I am blessed that HER spirit and inner strength has also aided me in this journey of unfolding life. I have no metaphor, but life IS transforming! 🤗💌🙏

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    • Dear Ashley thank you for sharing so openly. I value your thoughts and experience. I am truly sorry to hear about your wife. She has gone through so much.Your wife must be like a saint with her courage, strength of spirit. I am glad to hear that you feel blessed. Thank you. Keep well.🙏💟🤗

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  9. “Life is not a dress rehearsal”. I love this expression. It says a lot. I might use these words as a personal reminder.
    Your post is beautifully written. You are an incredible woman with a lot of strength. Wishing you strong health, comfort and happiness 🙋💗

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  10. Your srticle is all about civism, cultural identity, self and principles. You are a great person whom drive other to cope better with live obstacles. Thanks for sharing. God bless you and yours. Happy night!

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  13. Morag, I believe every experience is a learning experience, and we should try to learn from both positive and negative experiences. After reading this well-written account of your life experiences and what you have gained from them, I think we have a similar approach to life.💕

    The photos are lovely!

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  14. Oh thank you for the compliment Chery, and for your lovely comment. I am glad we have a similar approach to life. The butterfly photos are free from pexel, unfortunately I can’t take credit but in my post about individuation I showcase some of my art in a video. Take care x

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