What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had.

I had to think about this one: my parents were quite a nontraditional couple, my father was from Scotland and my mother was of Scandinavian, Dutch, Prussian, French and English descent. We lived in a part of South Africa where we were free to choose to live how we wanted to, within reason of course. It was quite a mixture of cultures. The one thing my parents did that was traditional was to say grace before we ate food.

My father had a Scottish grace coming from Selkirk, by Robert Burns. Here it is:

Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.

You can listen to it here said with an accent rather like my father’s.

After my father said grace I would say….

“Thank you for the world so sweet
thank you for the food we eat
thank you for the birds that sing
thank you God for everything”
E Rutter Leatham 1957

Later as a teenager I went on teen camps where we learnt a round which we sang before dinner:

For health and strength and daily food we praise your name of lord.
You can hear it sung here by the Irish Girl Guides.

What do I do?

Now I shall explain how the tradition evolved into something different for me. As times change I think we do evolve, but normally we have integrated something from our past that we value: well I believe I certainly did this. Coming from an unconventional mind-set, my father especially encouraged independent thinking. My mother was a rebel at heart and questioned everything. I think they suited each other quite well. She would often be the first one to ask “why?” or “why not?” One of her favorite sayings was “if not why not?” said with a intensely meaningful frown qon her face. She didn’t like doing things for the sake of doing them. I know a few of you, who are my followers, who know her: you would probably nod your heads in agreement at her stand for asking questions.

So I followed suit and began to think about why I said grace, was I grateful and how I did I want to express it. And did I have to express it in front of everyone else who might not have the same value. Mindfulness and awareness have become catch phrases these days but my mother and mother-in-law were practicing these qualities long before it was hip to talk about. This is what I adopted into my way of being: I like to be mindful and aware of everyone who brought about the food I am eating, I like to think of the earth, the rain, sun and nutrients that help grow the produce; the farmers and laborers and transportation. That might sound a bit old hat but I am grateful for them all, all the same. I am grateful to God, the creator of all abundance for my provision. I practice the art of gratefulness all day long. I also think about those in terrible circumstances that die from starvation and persecution at the hands of the greedy. I am aware that I live my life in complacence not doing all that I can to change the scenario.

What is it that we can do? Give money to organizations that can care for these people? Be more aware of preserving the earth in an environmentally sustainable way? There are so many things we do do and there are so many things that we could still do.

So for me it’s not about whether I say a traditional grace, to me this is easily lip service or just for show, it is about how I live my life in grateful actions that help me be part of the solution rather than the problem.

I like to have a grateful attitude for my whole day. Listen to this group of people celebrating What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong) | Playing For Change | Song Around The World. The simplicity of the song and the children singing is an inspiration to me: creation and nature speaks of wonder and “People shaking hands, saying how do you do, …really saying I love you.” These things matter, living with a heart of love and gratefulness.

I have appreciated using this prompt as a reflection, considering my values, ways and actions. Thank you.

Gratefulness, wonder and love, I wish upon you today.
A warm smile coming your way.