This post marks the beginning of a new series — a journey through the healing spaces of psychology. Before we explore the quiet magic that can unfold between therapist and client, I want to share how my own path began: with curiosity, courage, and the rediscovery of an old dream.

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Finding My Way into Psychology – A Personal Journey

When our children became teenagers, I found myself back at college studying psychology. I had always wanted to study the psychology and the mind because I find human beings so fascinating. I didn’t study psychology when I left school because in the 1980s in South Africa, it was largely frowned upon in my culture. I think people were suspicious of it being too progressive. I could say more, but not today.

Maybe there is still a stigma attached to mental health today, as Michelle Obama says:

“Sadly, too often, the stigma around mental health prevents people who need help from seeking it. But that simply doesn’t make any sense. Whether an illness affects your heart, your arm, or your brain, it’s still an illness, and there shouldn’t be any distinction. We should make it clear that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness.”

Words in the street were used for psychologists, like ‘quack’ and ‘shrink,’ and the mention of “going to the psychologist” (said in hushed tones) caused consternation. Psychology as healing was fairly unknown and conjured up ideas that there must be something really bad happening — needing electric shock therapy or being sent to a nudist group therapy session! (Mostly, this was not the case.)

So it was with great excitement that I decided to scrape up the courage and signup to study psychology in my 40s (twenty years ago). I had many questions about human connections as I was deep in the trenches of raising two teenagers. I was a bit anxious about how I would connect with the students but it was fun being with young people and I felt totally in my element. At one lecture we were asked, “Is psychology for everyone?” A lively debate followed with two main camps.

One group said, “Of course it is for everyone — everyone should have access to therapy as it is essential for emotional healing, it’s supportive through distress, and experience psychological growth. Everyone should want it, surely?”

Group two said, “Not everyone will want therapy or even see the need for therapy. Not everyone knows how therapy works; there are some people who just won’t go”

I was in group one, but by the end of my studies I had shifted my opinion to align more with group two. I believe that although, ideally, it would be best if everyone were open to experiencing personal growth through a therapeutic relationship, where empathy and compassion are expressed, I am also much more aware that not everyone would be motivated to go.

A Story Within My Personal Journey

With permission, we will take my husband as a specimen for examination. His temperament is quite different to mine and he is an active ‘doing’ type of person almost always on the go. His goal is to enjoy life, have fun and make the most of every opportunity. He would far rather play a sport (squash, pool, sailing, flying, and windsurfing) than be a spectator of sports. He would rather build his own home than watch the builder build it. The idea of going to a session, sitting still and talking about himself is dead boring. He would rather go to sleep. We have attended couples therapy and he has been involved in group therapy but generally he’s too busy to want ongoing regular counselling. This is not a complaint about him: we are different. His type of person learns through going through life situations and experiences. I call it the ‘cause and effect method of growing’.

He is a self-aware man and advancing in his own way but he’d sooner rather say ‘oops, my bad’ when things go wrong than go off to therapy. It is because of his personality type, which I have lived with, that has helped me become aware that therapy might not be attractive to everyone. It is because of studying psychology that I have learnt not to try changing him. Having said that he has been for therapy at times and he has found therapy helpful.  It is for each of us to consider: would we find the therapeutic process and the power of the therapeutic relationship helpful or not?

Where does the word psychology come from?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, Psychology is the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behaviour in a given context.

Etymology  

Oxford Dictionary again: The word “psychologist” comes from the Greek words psyche (soul, mind) and -logia (study). The term “psychology” was first coined in the 16th century by Croatian humanist Marko Marulić. The English word “psychologist” was later formed in English by adding the suffix “-ist” to the field of psychology. 

Marko Marulic (b 18 August, 1450 and died 5 January 1524) was a very interesting Croatian man who lived in Split, Republic of Venice (modern day Croatia) between the medieval times and the Renaissance period. He was a humanist, judge and lawyer; he wrote in Latin as well as in Croatian which was unusual for the times; he was a writer, poet and even made his own illustrations. Many people call him the poet of Croatia.

What’s interesting to us is he is known for creating the word “psychology” or Psichiologia when he wrote the work Psihologija de ratione animae humanae (Psychology concerning the nature of the human soul). He was the eldest of 8 siblings and studied classical learning and human dignity and so maybe he had the opportunity to consider the nature of the human mind and soul observing his big family. Coining word put him in a position as a predecessor of today’s psychology.

Love and Support

Psychotherapy … [is] a profession whose mainspring is love. Nearly everyone who visits a therapist has a love disorder, and each has a story to tell—of love lost or denied, love twisted or betrayed, love perverted or shackled to violence.”

Ackerman, 2011, p. 136

I have learned to love whole heartedly, love others, love myself and love life in my therapy process. I have also learnt to face my fears and emotions and work with them. It has changed my life but I am not perfect. There are many different types of psychology to pick from, and although I am passionate about psychology and the different therapies, I am not about to give you psych 101 lecture.

There are short term therapies and there are medium and long term processes. Some people can do with a bit of support to work through some issues such as grief and loss, anger management, communication and connection. Some need mid-term therapy to work through fears and trust issues, marital issues, menopause, mid-life-crises. And some people need long-term therapy for long term anxiety, depression, bipolar, trauma, chronic post traumatic syndrome as well as other personality disorders might need long term support. No matter how long or short one’s stay is with a therapist they share their gifts of empathy, a feeling of being understood, connection and a space to express oneself authentically.

What type of therapy did I get into? I will tell you in my story next time.

Over the years, psychology has become more than just a subject of study for me — it’s become a way of seeing the world. It’s helped me understand myself, my relationships, and the quiet workings of the heart.

In my next post, The Healing Space Between Two People, I’ll take you into that first moment when two people meet in therapy — where conversation becomes connection, and healing quietly begins.

Have a lovely week further,

Chat later.

Morag Noffke