Yes, I mean affirming yourself; affirming myself. I think a lot of us know about affirmations but don’t really apply this idea because deep down many of us don’t feel our worth or adequate or good enough. It’s as if we feel we don’t deserve to be affirmed. Many of us suffer from a fear that keeps us running away from ourselves. Or we harbour feelings of shame which keeps us from being able to be vulnerable even with ourselves because it causes a fear of what might be there. Yes this is me too. I feel these things from time to time. It can become debilitating for me at times.
A few weeks ago I worked on some of my shadow inadequacy with my psychologist. Even in doing so it stretched my feelings of vulnerability. I learnt that my critical voice chimes away at me when I am challenged beyond what I think is reasonable and says things like: “I am bad and I expect to be punished” or “I am going to make a fool of myself and everybody will know I am actually a foolish person” or simply “I am not enough: not good enough, don’t know enough and have not done enough.” I bet, you have a critical voice that chimes away at you sometimes making you feel inadequate; I know I am not alone but in the heat of the situation it becomes crippling for me.
So here are some affirmations I wrote for myself:
I have made them personal for me because I don’t like glib or trite words. Read each one slowly and let the words sink in, I wonder if you can relate to any of them.
- It’s okay to be imperfect
- Despite my fallibility I am worthy of grace, compassion and mercy and I am worthy of praise and acknowledgement
- I am here…
When I am hearing my critical voice I remember an affirmation I wrote and I respond: “it is okay to be imperfect”, or “Despite my fallibility…..I am worthy of grace and compassion” or “I am here (I can do this) (in my humility) (in my vulnerability)…. (you can fill in what you would say).
I feel that “I am here” is a very receptive, vulnerable and humble position to be in. It is also amazingly liberating to be able to present oneself honestly to others and to self, even to God. It is easier in some circumstances than others. It is strange that sometimes one can feel that we should be acknowledged and at the very same time feel unworthy of acknowledgement. “I am here” is about “being” and being is what we simply are. There is no judgement. We have been born into this world and we simply are here.
I have touched on this topic more in a form of journaling my experience than tackling the topic comprehensively. It’s from the heart that I share. I hope that over time I will learn to be more compassionate towards myself and that I will grow to know myself better in this honesty. Do you also struggle in this way? I hope, that if you do, that you will also find compassion for yourself.
Have a good week, take care.
P.s. If you want to think more about this topic Brene Brown is really worthwhile looking up. I am sure many of you know her work.