Affirming who? Ourselves: Are you crazy?

/ moragnoffke

Yes, I mean affirming yourself; affirming myself. I think a lot of us know about affirmations but don’t really apply this idea because deep down many of us don’t feel our worth or adequate or good enough. It’s as if we feel we don’t deserve to be affirmed. Many of us suffer from a fear that keeps us running away from ourselves. Or we harbour feelings of shame which keeps us from being able to be vulnerable even with ourselves because it causes a fear of what might be there. Yes this is me too. I feel these things from time to time. It can become debilitating for me at times.

A few weeks ago I worked on some of my shadow inadequacy with my psychologist. Even in doing so it stretched my feelings of vulnerability. I learnt that my critical voice chimes away at me when I am challenged beyond what I think is reasonable and says things like: “I am bad and I expect to be punished” or “I am going to make a fool of myself and everybody will know I am actually a foolish person” or simply “I am not enough: not good enough, don’t know enough and have not done enough.” I bet, you have a critical voice that chimes away at you sometimes making you feel inadequate; I know I am not alone but in the heat of the situation it becomes crippling for me.   

So here are some affirmations I wrote for myself:

I have made them personal for me because I don’t like glib or trite words. Read each one slowly and let the words sink in, I wonder if you can relate to any of them.

  1. It’s okay to be imperfect
  2. Despite my fallibility I am worthy of grace, compassion and mercy and I am worthy of praise and acknowledgement
  3. I am here…

When I am hearing my critical voice I remember an affirmation I wrote and I respond: “it is okay to be imperfect”, or “Despite my fallibility…..I am worthy of grace and compassion” or “I am here (I can do this) (in my humility) (in my vulnerability)…. (you can fill in what you would say).

I feel that “I am here” is a very receptive, vulnerable and humble position to be in. It is also amazingly liberating to be able to present oneself honestly to others and to self, even to God. It is easier in some circumstances than others. It is strange that sometimes one can feel that we should be acknowledged and at the very same time feel unworthy of acknowledgement. “I am here” is about “being” and being is what we simply are. There is no judgement. We have been born into this world and we simply are here.

I have touched on this topic more in a form of journaling my experience than tackling the topic comprehensively. It’s from the heart that I share. I hope that over time I will learn to be more compassionate towards myself and that I will grow to know myself better in this honesty. Do you also struggle in this way? I hope, that if you do, that you will also find compassion for yourself.  

Have a good week, take care.

P.s. If you want to think more about this topic Brene Brown is really worthwhile looking up. I am sure many of you know her work.

27 thoughts on “Affirming who? Ourselves: Are you crazy?”

  1. This is such a lifelong struggle for me, as I know it is for many of us. And I also see myself punishing or self sabotaging myself when I start to move forward in my life. It’s deeply challenging. The voices are strong, telling me to stay”in my place” and not call attention to myself…
    Thank you for writing this, Morag. I think we need to keep naming it over and over, as much as possible. We deserve to be here, to use our voice and speak our truth, to be seen…. To realize that our imperfections are part of being human, part of all of us, the part that helps us relate to, understand , and connect with each other.

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  2. Oh, Morag, you touch a nerve, and I’m in my 70s!!!! How can this be? Perhaps one day i will open up about some early life experiences! Your affirmations are wonderful! Talk again, soon! 🌹🙋‍♂️

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    • Thank you Joanna! You are awesome too. Your words are true. We all need to greet ourselves in the morning with a wonderful warm greeting “I am wonderful” 🤗💐 take care, Morag x

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  5. Thank you for sharing this, Morag. I’m sure your post struck a chord with the majority of your readers.
    Your first affirmation, “It’s ok to be imperfect” certainly spoke to me. From our earliest days we are made aware of our imperfections. Comparisons creep in. Parents, teachers and other point out where we have failed, and tell us what is wrong with us (and, too often, the church does as well). Then, as we get older, the media and society are daily recording the flaws and failings of people everywhere.
    And yet none of us are, or can, be perfect. Being OK with that isn’t easy; but what a sense of people comes with truly accepting that being less than perfect is actually fine. It is something that is true for all of us, and it is always going to be that way.

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  6. I had posted my comment, but it didn’t appear here. Might be in spams. What I had stated was that this lovely post was written direct from your heart, a confession, that normally people tend to refute or ignore. Garbage in garbage out principle also applies to us. What we feed in mind, it comes out in the form of health and temperament. Love starts from the self. Charity begins at home. Thank you for sharing this post on positive affirmations.

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  8. This is a wonderful article. I find that voice, same as you do, always telling me I am not good enough or my work is not worth recognition. I find it more so with face to face people. My blogger friends seem to get me and affirm what I do. Friends and family simply say,.”That’s nice,” and leave it at that!

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    • Thank you so much. Yes I know what you mean I also have that experience a lot of the time. I have often wondered about that. Well it’s good to have space where like minded people can share. Thank you for following my blog 🙋‍♀️🌈

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