Relationships in Synergistic Communities

/ moragnoffke

How I saw then…

When I was in my twenties I used to separate friendships from all other relationships. At that time I thought of relationships as a bother or an inconvenience; just some functional reality. I was part of a little community and I found it painful that we had to communicate with some unknown character like a waitress, shop assistant or medical practitioner. I used to say that friendships are like a bunch of flowers; each flower has its own unique character with its colour, shape and scent. Friendships in my world were a select few.

How I see you now…

Relationships are so much more than the select few.

Now I see and appreciate all people, whether they are acquaintances, family or close friendships. I have a new metaphor. Being in relationship with all people is like being part of a big, beautiful garden where there is shaded wooded areas, rivers, and bright sunny glades. There’s place for a profusion of flowers, vegetables, fruit, and berries; there’s undergrowth and overgrowth, trees, bushes, weeds and fungi. Every person is represented here.

This garden is a synergy of organisms with a complete microbiome. Permaculture is in the forefront of the gardeners plans and all butterflies and other insects are welcome. This is how I view my relationships with those around me and those I meet in person, online or anywhere in the world. The trees are like the ‘Elders’ in my life that give shade, structure and wisdom; they are productive and even show me when the seasons are changing.

I love no specific plant more than the others; even weeds, that some think are bad have their place. Some weeds are edible, some medicinal, some grow in poor soils communicating where soil needs aerating, like the creeping buttercup. These “weeds” feed the butterflies and bees which pollinate the flowers. It’s all part of the circle of life. And so are people part of the circle of relationships and community.

We all have a place in this beautiful garden; we all have a purpose: we just have to be what we are, just be that: shade for others, food, beauty, or pioneers making the way for others to thrive. Imagine if the plants and flowers complained about their job – even although they each are important. Maybe we lack the ability to appreciate our worth in society when we race around trying to fill our days with busy-ness. Even the weeds have an importance: they feed the birds and butterflies. Fun fact: Did you know that insects make up about 75% of all animal species?

Photo by Ali Goode on Pexels.com
Photo by Ellie Burgin on Pexels.com
Banana slug, Canada, Morag Noffke, 2014
A spider spins her web in the hope of catching her prey, 2014, M Noffke.
Stanley Park, seawall, M Noffke.
Bee on onion flower, M Noffke.
Swellendam, South Africa, Morag Noffke
Swellendam, South Africa, Morag Noffke

Gardens are special when the biomes work (when the flora, fauna and fungi work together: there is peace and joy in the garden) for example, the flora’s root systems, whether forest or garden are reciprocal in relationship and create resilient networks of roots with fungi acting as connectors. The environment becomes healthier for this connection.

The garden as a metaphor for my relationships.

In this same way I view my relationships, be it the waitress serving me coffee, the postman delivering parcels and post, the doctor, the therapist, the community leaders, friends and family; the synergy that happens within community is made up of diverse individuals or groups, all collaborating, pooling skills and resources to make an impact that is far greater than any individual can do on their own. Different perspectives and professional expertise create a rich biome. Not only is the impact of beauty, like a garden, but it is a healthy community that works in symbioses. Your presence could transform the isolation experienced by a lonely individual; resulting in joy shared or inspiration. Our social networks are only really environments of progress if they foster kindness, connection, sharing and compassion.

There could come a time, very soon, where more first world countries need to create community gardens where neighbours combine skills for growing fresh crops and  local produce; or where they share skills, resources or tools for cost savings. It is said ‘The whole becomes greater than the parts, allowing communities to tackle complex challenges.’ You could be someone working towards sustainability, food security, or mental health support – or anything you are skilled at and have a passion for. The fragrance of our floral scent is far more powerful when collective, than when we are fragmented, not matter how small you may feel your part is.

Community is not just teamwork where we all get together in groups but there is space for the personalities who appreciate alone time and quiet too. These people, whether you want to call them introverts or not, are also needed for their sensitivity, observation, intuition and ability to see things from a different perspective. They are valuable too in their quiet ways. They in turn should find ways of communicating this richness and not keep it to themselves.

Who will be the flowering weeds who feed the ‘insects and birds’? Who are those that provide shade for others? Who are You? How does your presence impact your community locally or globally? Your presence has impacted my life and I appreciate your: friendship, company, connection, encouragement, support, service or your shade or wisdom – whatever it is you have shared with me – you are seen through my appreciating eyes.

Thank you.

Wishing you a blessed week
~Morag Noffke~

27 thoughts on “Relationships in Synergistic Communities”

  3. I try to be a positive impact on my community (mostly through assisting with our local animal shelter and food bank), but I agree that it takes a variety of individuals to make something work properly. And the garden metaphor is spot on! 🙂

    Truth is, I’m an introvert and my circle is very small. Still, I value the relationships I have and try to nurture them as best I can.

    A very thoughtful post, Morag. Cheers, my friend! 🌻

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    • Thank you 😊 I understand about the introvertion… I’m 90% introvert. I think we have quiet gifts to offer in a world of extroverts. But I agree, a small group of trusted friends where one feels safe and respected is what introverts need. I appreciate knowing you on this forum. You have been an inspiration and encouragement. Thank you.

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  5. I love how your perspective has expanded over time. I agree with all you write, although I know from experience that there can be very annoying and/or damaged and/or damaging people who end up being part of our webs of human inter-relationships. Do we nip/prune them out of our garden? Or do we continue to attempt to interact with them in a respectful manner? As I get older, I wonder more and more if our main goal here on planet earth is to learn how to practice love and respect for all beings. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

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    • Thank you for your comment and interesting contribution to the discussion…Using the permaculture analogy further I wonder if those annoying/ damaging or damaged people who become part of the inter-relationships can be seen as the fallen logs in the garden which becomes one with the earth through fungi eating away with it and it finally rots. Becomes compost. I know people are quick to say ‘ block this person or cut that person out of one’s life’ …and there might be a few occasions for that but for the most part I think being respectful and practicing love is what we learn to do whilst we are here. I also think having healthy boundaries and realistic expectations can also help. And then… Deep breath in. Deep breath out 👍👍
      Is this Will? Or is this someone else I know? You both say deep breath in, deep breath out 😊

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      • Yes. this is Will. I guess my two, overlapping comments (the second one written after I thought I had lost the first one…) I am now going to see if your fallen logs-turning-into-compost metaphor helps me during future interactions with challenging people in my web of human relationships!

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  6. Hi, Morag. I agree with all that you write and love the metaphor of a permaculture-influenced garden for our web of human relationships. I was wondering recently if it might be time (due to the recent conflict/war near the Gulf Of Hormuz which is leading to rising prices for lots of food-related commodities such as fuel and fertilizer) for everyone to plant a food garden. Better yet might be new community gardens arising to cultivate both food and also relationships/bonds between human beings in one’s neighborhood. ps: I typed a previous comment which then appeared to disappear; so if you end up with two comments from me, please delete one or edit/combine them together into one comment if the spirit moves you. Thank you for a wise and inspiring blog post.

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    • Hi Will,
      I think I answered the other comment of yours… For some reason it appeared as ‘someone’ . Thank you for your thoughtful reflections. In the UK many people still have community gardens as a left over from the Second World War and I think it could be a good thing to do. I have read that it gave many hope and lifted their spirits being part of a community. Lonely people become joyful.
      I try to grow fruit, berries and vegetables but I think I would benefit from communal gardens for know how as I have moved to the climate of Scotland from South Africa. With my growing skills we’ll be on severe rations 🤣😂

      Thank you again for visiting and commenting.

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      • We have a community garden a few blocks from my home in which I love to wander and gaze at all the growing plants. Hurrah that some wise citizens kept WWII era community gardens going after the war finally ended. I was told, recently, that there may even have been some gardening happening in the horrible trenches of WWI. Gardens not only feed our bodies but also our spirits…

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  7. Dear Morag, the garden is a wonderful metaphor for our lives; we are certainly connected to everyone else and to everything. 🤗💓🤗

    (Sorry I’ve not been very responsive lately).

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  8. A garden does not ask the bee to justify its existence.
    It does not interrogate the butterfly before offering nectar.
    It simply remains open enough for fragile things to land there.
    And souls are not very different from insects. Both are easily crushed by noise, speed and indifference. Both search constantly for small places of warmth, quiet and continuity. Happy weekend!

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  9. A truly thoughtful and insightful post that resonates deeply with me. I greatly admire the way you have broadened the perspective and beautifully used the metaphor of a garden to explain human interrelationships. It reminds us that the entire universe is like one global village, where every individual has a meaningful role to play. And as you so rightly expressed, when synergy comes into play, the whole becomes far greater than the sum of its parts. Thank you for sharing such a meaningful and inspiring piece.

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