I consider myself in the beginning stages of growing old as I am 63 years old although when I was in my twenties I probably thought that 63 was ancient. I didn’t get to meet either set of grandparents so when it came to my mother aging I found it quite challenging but I learnt a lot from her. Her motto became ‘such is life’ and she would sing ‘Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be, the future is not ours to see, que sera sera, what will be will be ….

Now that I am 63 I still imagine that I have quite a few years ahead of me. And I don’t think of myself as that old yet. The prevalent thinking is that sixty years is the new forty and that if one just eats the right diet, lifts weights, stretches and looks after oneself etc, etc we can live to over a 100 years old. It’s almost like we think there is a secret formula or code and if we crack it we will be successful. The idea appeals to me but what I am more interested in is living a worthwhile and meaningful life until I die, whatever that age is. Maybe my thinking has been influenced by my mother singing Doris day’s song.

A nurse I know said to me: ‘the best one can do is live for today because we don’t know what’s around the corner.’ She told me stories from her first-hand experience of how people in their fifties suddenly faced their mortality. They had planned so much for their retirement only to be thwarted when they were still ‘young’.

I am certainly not attempting to tell people how to live or what attitudes to foster as I feel I am still ‘wet behind the ears’ when it comes to aging. I admire people who have faced aging with grace. They have often had to face difficulties bravely. I imagine that they dug deep to find the staying power, tenacity, patience, persistence, and bravery or courage to face illness and the general downward spiral of aging. I am sincerely proud of the elderly, and I am sad for the tired ones too as I see in their eyes that they want to keep living so that they can share the wonderful milestones of their children and grandchildren. I humbly think so long as life is fulfilling and one can share in the joy of life there is hope.

Forgive me for sounding like the angle of doom but I rub shoulders with those grappling with different types of cancers, arthritis, hearts needing pacemakers  and minds that are not as adequate as when they were younger (the list is long): all of them kept active either gardening, playing sport, walking or cycling when they were a decade younger. As my nurse friend said anything can go wrong at any time.’

My mother had a strong heart. She had cycled, danced and hiked from young; she had even done rock climbing. She ate healthily and as she aged she gardened and walked twice a day to keep fit. She had a wonderful attitude towards life but as she neared her eighties she became deaf, got bronchiectasis and lupus, an autoimmune disease. She lived to 87 years old but her last few years were like her vivacious spirit was trapped in a body that no longer served her well. I was sad for her. And I am sad for those who have told me, with a courageous smile and such graciousness, that they have had a good innings- as they face cancer with chemo in their eighties.  

What is my message? I think in this age we live in we can land up taking ourselves too seriously. ‘The best one can do is live for today because we don’t know what’s around the corner.’ Be responsible for looking after your health: body, mind and soul but then live with joy and acceptance. I think that’s what I want to embrace is joy and acceptance with an attitude of ‘such is life.’

Chat soon, God willing x

-Morag Noffke-